Funeral help?

it seems my husband%26#039;s grandmother is not doing well in the hospital. my MIL is flying up to be with her husband as he has been with his mother during this time....he told her to take clothes for a funeral. so we are preparing for the worst.


it seems a bit petty of me but i was wondering, since i have never met my husband%26#039;s grandmother, how could we celebrate her life. is sending flowers and a card of sympathy enough to show how much we care about everyone%26#039;s loss.


we are flying to the dakota%26#039;s from south tx. over the thanksgiving holidays and i have never met my husband of three years family. just my father in law%26#039;s brothers and sisters. i know his immediate family and my mother in law%26#039;s family.


anyway....i want to be respectful and kind and thoughtful and make a good impression.


i%26#039;d send a bouquet of blue irises, that is my favorite flower, and a card from our family. is there anything else i can do? we can%26#039;t just go and join them for a funeral.

Funeral help?
Send flowers and a card to the family for the funeral, and send a personal card to your MIL and her husband to let them know if there is anything they need, you%26#039;ll be there to help them out.
Reply:Your husband should go to the funeral - He should fly up for that. You and the kids can stay home. Go to your local church and get a prayer card for the family and have your husband bring it with him.
Reply:Thats pretty much all you can do. Just be a good support group.
Reply:Flowers are always nice, as are cards. Also sending a gift certificate for food so they don%26#039;t have to worry about cooking, even if it isn%26#039;t that much money, is nice since cooking is the last thing you want to do after a funeral. Cowel lillies are pretty. Find out your husband%26#039;s grandmother%26#039;s favorite flower and send that instead if possible, that shows even more concern than just your favorite.
Reply:yeah flowers and a card is good.
Reply:yeah, flowers are nice. Unless they specify, don%26#039;t send flowers, that is a good.
Reply:Just do the best you can. Flowers and a note expressing your sympathy will be good. If his family doesn%26#039;t understand that you can%26#039;t afford to fly your whole family up there then that%26#039;s hardly your problem.
Reply:no matter what you do its always the thought that counts.
Reply:I agree that what you have already done is sufficient. More importantly, the appearance that you will make will mean so much more than just a few flowers %26amp; a card.





I will pray for her!!!


God Bless!!!
Reply:If that%26#039;s all you can do and afford, then that has to be good enough. It%26#039;s not like you went without a thought about things. If they don%26#039;t appreciate it, too bad. I%26#039;m sure his grandmother would%26#039;ve if she realized your effort.
Reply:Do you have any family photos that your in-laws have never seen? Perhaps you could bring an album. If your grandmother is still conscious, she would probably love to see the photos too. Even if she can%26#039;t respond, you can be telling her the stories behind each photo. Perhaps you could mount the photos so she could see them from her bed.





If she does pass while you are there, just be aware of ways in which you can help. There is so much to do around a funeral. Help write an obituary, contact family members, make a display board for the funeral of pictures of your grandmother%26#039;s life, help do the cooking, answer the phone, greet people at the door, organize sympathy cards, volunteer to watch all the kids in a separate room (if there gets to be a houseful), etc. Your thoughtfulness will be noticed and appreciated.





Take care.
Reply:The flowers are good. Another idea is to call and ask the family for %26quot;grandma%26quot; stories and memories. Type them up and print out a little book for everyone.
Reply:I think that is enough... Just lettin them know theyre in your thoughts and prayers and you will always be there for whatever they need. I think thats the best thing you could ever do. Just being there for them is a whole lot!
Reply:I think what you did was nice.
Reply:Flowers are fine. You may also want to wait until the obituary appears in the paper. These days, you can access many newspapers on line and finding the obit may not be too difficult. I say this because the family may want donations to a charity rather than flowers.





But, flowers are appropriate any time. You are very kind to think of this.
Reply:Send flowers





write a personal letter once the death occurs (you can start working on it in advance) expressing your condolence, and making clear that while you would love to be able to attend the funeral, it%26#039;s just not possible. If your husband can go, that is all that could be expected.
Reply:I would send HER favorite flower. Ask your husband, if he doesn%26#039;t know then send her white or colorful flowers. Blue might be depressing.





Flowers and a card are enough. Shows you are concerned. Don%26#039;t send too much - or it will look weird.
Reply:Sending flowers for the death of an elderly person is pretty standard. If you will be staying with them or spending time at the house of one of your family members, perhaps cooking a meal or something would be a warm gesture. Your heart is in the right place, it%26#039;s just so much easier to accept the death of the elderly that there isn%26#039;t much more you need to do than to be there for your family.





Perhaps you could suggest a memorial to a charity she worked with or a program at a church she attended or something of that nature.
Reply:give them a phone call and tell them that you%26#039;re sorry for their loss
Reply:Flowers ... always flowers unless otherwise specified.



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