What do you think about this poem...?

I sat amongst the rubble


Of a life that seemed unfair,


I felt my spirit fleeing


To a pit of great despair.


Then an angel softly called


With a voice so fair and sweet,


She asked me of my sadness,


And the cause of my defeat.





%26#039;Twas difficult to answer


But the voice was very kind,


And patiently she waited


%26#039;Til my problems I outlined.





An understanding wisdom


She sought gently to impart.


With sweet words of sympathy


She began to reach my heart.





The loving angel touched me


As she wiped away a tear.


And in that very moment


Divine music I could hear.





Raising my eyes to see her,


I looked full upon her face,


Melancholy clouds dispersed


Leaving not a single trace.





The luster of purest gold


Had been borrowed for her hair,


Scintillation of the stars


Is also revealed there.





Residing in laughing eyes


Is the sparkle from a brook.


My thumping heart was melting


As she proffered me a look.





I%26#039;ve seen glorious sunsets,


Oranges, purples, pinks and reds,


Lovely flowers in gardens


Mountain lakes and river beds.





But now I%26#039;ve seen an angel


All the others I would trade,


In the beauty of her grace,


They simply start to fade.





I do not know the future,


But this prayer I%26#039;ve now begun:


Would this angel be with me


%26#039;Til my life on earth is done

What do you think about this poem...?
Beautiful! It can actually be a song if a chorus was added to it. It%26#039;s very nice. Very rhythmic, words chosen well. It sounds as delicate as the angel that is described. It%26#039;s gentle, clean, and clear and not clogged with unnecessary words. It%26#039;s simplicity can make it very easy to memorize and recite by heart at a poetry reading.





Keep %26#039;em coming! I enjoyed it.
Reply:wow that was fantastic . i loved how it gripped my atention in the beging and yet at the same time it made sense and then it didnt . it was great . i also like the way you wrote it to you have great tallent keep it up . =%26gt;
Reply:Excellent! I like your verse running in rhyming couplets with a cut at line five of your first stanza.
Reply:i like it



www.poetry.com